Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Communication: Sharing Self

There are many levels and types of communication. There are silent forms like body language or sign language. There are also direct and indirect forms like writing letters and passing along messages. The type I have been focusing on recently is face to face, using words and non-verbal cues.

Have you ever spoken to a person so clearly and articulately that they received you with unconditional grace? They seemed to be in tune with you, even.

Usually when this happens to me, I receive the other person just as well, and they speak with the same level of confidence and respect. Our eyes are connected and I don't feel like any more or less than them.

I think this is the key. Or course, this is just speculation. I'm sure that there are a ton of reasons behind this pure human connection that I can't see yet. However, I think that when you enter into a conversation with no expectations you can receive them uncolored by the labels that your mind automatically gives them. It comes when you embrace the feeling of not talking up, nor down at people, but talking with them. This seems to invite them to be open with you.

When a feeling is as indescribable as this feeling of connection, it often leads me to think about it on more spiritual terms. So, there's this groovy feeling when I talk to people that are open and honest with me. When I reciprocate that openness, conversational floodgates open on both ends, and I've got a new friend. I feel like I am sharing myself with another person, like for those moments we are containing the same energy- or maybe ceasing to contain it.

I also know what a lack of connection looks like. I'm sure that everyone has seen it. When two typical business men in suits meet, they shake hands, talk in their "big voice," and speak like the whole world is listening. I suppose that they feel like they have a lot to lose and are afraid to share themselves with one another. I think what they are missing is that they have more to gain by allowing this connection to happen, than never sharing their abundance at all. (When I say abundance, I'm talking about all kinds: money, energy, time, chocolate bars, anything.)

So, why did I choose to write about this? Aren't these things obvious? My answer is that I don't think they are obvious to most people. I am going to go ahead and make a generalization: A lot of people have their priorities confused. I think that people forget that when their cell phone rings, moments spent gabbing about abstract figures are moments lost in real time, in the here and now. This is a simple and mild example, but it is significant. I have to make my priority the present to live a fulfilled life.

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