Thursday, March 18, 2010
Life is Made Up of Days.
Recently, I've been having a lot of Good Days. I know it was a Good Day because at the end I don't feel tense or worried. I have no guilt feelings or anxious thoughts. Nothing unusual has to happen, it just has to be peaceful.
Today I was thinking, What is different about me on these Good Days? What do I do differently? After all, that might be a great secret of life. How can we have a Good Day everyday?
TANGENT: Before I continue, I must veer off my train of thought. Good Days are not always easy days. Some of my best days are the hardest. At the end of a hard day, emotionally or otherwise, I know that I worked hard and did my very best. Something I have learned is that when pain comes, it carries gifts. Spiritual progress depends on it.
Now, back to the question at hand: How do we have more Good Days? My day is usually determined by how I cope with emotions and people. The following is what I have found that I do consistantly on my Good Days.
I treat positive emotions like sweet lemonade. When a good thought enters my mind, I recognize it and drink it in. I don't hold onto it too tightly because I don't want to spoil it. If it re-enters my mind later, though, that's great. All this being said, positive emotions are not usually the difficult part.
Negative emotions are these things that everyone likes to reject. I used to live in fear of feeling bad things. The truth is that negative thoughts are important. They maintain balance. You actually cannot live your life completely free from negativity. The way I like to deal with negative emotions is very similar to the way I deal with positive emotions. I recognize them, feel them, and let them go. I have to be careful not to be afraid of them and reject them. They won't go away that way, they just build up. Dealing with emotions as they happen is way easier than having all sorts of baggage to sort through down the road. Who needs more baggage? Not I. Emotions are best when they are ripe from the vine.
For example today: At work I answered the telephone, "Primo Hoagies?" The woman that was on the line was condescending and rude towards me. She acted like I was the scum of the town. I responded to her rudeness with kindness and politeness. I hung up after I took her order and just thought, What a bitch. Then I thought, Oh well. I don't have to be. That was that. When she came in to pick up her food she was just as rude, and I was just as polite. It didn't effect me at all after that point. I suppose thinking, What a bitch wasn't the very best reaction, but it worked. And, I'm human.
We can treat people like emotions. When I meet a person, the first thing I try to think is, I wonder what lesson this person is here to teach me? I don't think, How's this guy going to mess up my day? Or, Who's this jerk? Recieving people with no expectations is what my last blog was about, and I think it's important. If people are disrespectful, let them go. If you must say something, you can say, "I don't have room in my life for people who don't treat me well." Or, if your into brevity, "Please leave." You can always just say nothing and leave. It is not your obligation to put up with non-sense.
I attended a workshop last Sunday called, "Experiencing and Expressing Joy in Parenting." It was hosted by Mary Kegelman (AHSC member). One thing that she discussed is that if you resent your child it is because you have not protected your own rights. In my own words, allowing people to do what they want with me and never speaking my truth with them, makes me cranky. It also inhibits my Good-Day-having skills.
Another time I'll talk about Bad Days, but first I have to have one or a series of them.
To conclude, the recurring theme seemed to be: Relax. Relate. Release. With people and emotions I just have to give them permission to enter and also exit. Remember: Drink lemonade, eat fruit ripe off the vine, and remember to be nice to mean people. Just don't let them continue to be mean.
Life is made up of days. I want mine to be good.